FASHION FRIDAYS : THE COURAGE TO CHANGE
What a big statement the courage to change , this can be as big or small as you want to make it. Therefore it could be the courage to change to a new eyeliner or to change the way you think. I have been on a journey of self discovery , and the last two years I have adopted the courage to change. What I mean is really understanding that only through change do we make our lives better. Moreover the smallest changes can add up to major advances in our lives.
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE : KILLING THE ANTS
Would you like to experience peace of mind and joy?
Since I have come to realization that I have suffered most of my life from anxiety and depression I have decided to adopt the courage to change. Furthermore through therapy and workshops I have started to truly change my life. For one thing I was introduced to the work Dr. Daniel Amen who’s teachings on Automatic Negative Thoughts is changing my life. Therefore if this is something you are interested in then you need to become an expert about “ANTs.”
Dr. Daniel Amen coined this term in the early 1990s after a hard day at the office, during which he had several very difficult sessions with suicidal patients, teenagers in turmoil, and a married couple who hated each other.
When he got home that evening he found thousands of ants in his kitchen. As he started to clean them up, an acronym developed in his mind. He thought of his patients from that day – just like the infested kitchen, his patients’ brains were also infested by Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs) that were robbing them of their joy and stealing their happiness.
ANTS
He started teaching patients how to eliminate all of the ANTs because they are what drive depression, what stoke anxiety, and what fuel negativity.
Every single time you have a thought, your brain releases chemicals.
Every time you have a sad, hopeless, mad, cranky, unkind, judgmental, or helpless thought, your brain immediately releases chemicals that make your body feel awful. Your hands get cold and wet, your muscles get tense, your heart beats faster, and your breathing becomes shallower. Additionally, the activity in your frontal and temporal lobes decreases which negatively affects your judgment, learning, memory.
COURAGE TO CHANGE ; POSITIVE THOUGHTS
The opposite is also true – whenever you have a happy, hopeful, loving, kind, or positive thought, your brain releases a completely different set of chemicals. Your hands get warmer and dryer, your breathing becomes deeper and more regular, your muscles relax, your blood pressure decreases, and your brain works better.
So, if you want to eradicate depression, anxiety, and negativity from your life, you need to work on disciplining your mind to get rid of the ANTs and developing an ANTeater to patrol the streets of your mind.
ANTs are thoughts like this:
- “My presentation is going to go horribly.”
- “I’m not going to close this sale.”
- “They always ignore my ideas during meetings. Why do I even bother?”
- “Something bad is going to happen. It always does.”
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE
The 9 Most Common ANTs
There are nine different ways that your thoughts lie to you to make situations out to be worse than they really are. Dr. Amen says to think of these nine ways as “different species” or types of ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts).
- “Always” thinking. This is when you think in words like “always, never, no one, every one, every time, everything”.
- Focusing on the negative. When you can only see the bad in a situation.
- Fortune telling. You predict the worst possible outcome to a situation.
- Mind reading. You believe that you know what another person is thinking and it’s not good. Even though they haven’t told you and you didn’t even ask.
- Thinking with your feelings. This is when you believe negative feelings without ever questioning them.
- Guilt beatings. You think in words like “should, must, ought or have to.”
- Labeling. You attach a negative label to yourself or to someone else.
- Personalization. This is when you take a seemingly innocent event and take it to have a personal, negative meaning.
- Blame: This is the most harmful ANT and it happens when you blame someone else for your own problems.
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE
3 Simple Steps to Killing Your ANTs
What would your life be like if your first thoughts were positive? How much happier and more productive could you be? I’m guessing quite a bit… Here are three easy ways to stomp your automatic negative thoughts and turn them into positive ones.
1) Become aware of it.
The first step in becoming an ANT stomping warrior is to pay close attention to these insidious thoughts and be ready for them. So the next time you notice an ANT entering your mind, simply recognize it and acknowledge it. Tell yourself that it’s simply a thought and that thoughts aren’t the truth.
Bonus: If you are so inclined, write down your ANT in a notebook or put it in your phone (I have an Evernote folder for this). This is a great way to spot patterns and keep track of your progress.
2) Challenge it.
What would you do if a person started saying something really negative about you that wasn’t true? I doubt that you would just let it go. You want to treat your ANTs just like some irrational jerk and challenge them. Stand up to them and don’t let them limit your life.
3) Replace it with a more positive and affirming thought.
The key to being happier and more positive lies in your ability to successfully flip your ANT and turn it into a PAT (Positive & Affirming Thought). Let’s take our earlier examples and turn them into positive and affirming thoughts:
- This ANT, “My presentation is going to go horribly” becomes this PAT, “My presentation is going to be amazing. I will be prepared and everyone will be receptive.”
- This ANT, “I’m not going to close this sale” becomes this PAT, “I will close this sale. I know I can really help this customer and they know this too. It’s going to feel so good to sign this deal.”
- This ANT, “They always ignore my ideas during meetings. Why do I even bother?” becomes this PAT, “I have really good ideas and my team appreciates them.”
- This ANT, “Something bad is going to happen. It always does” becomes this PAT, “Something good is going to happen today! It always does.”
The next time you notice an ANT entering your mind, recognize it, challenge it and turn it around. Do this on a consistent basis and you will take away the ANTs’ power, allowing you to gain control over your mood and ultimately your happiness.
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE; THE PRAIRIE DRESS
When we buy into fashion do we buy the whole thing? What comes to mind is the fugly sneaker trend . In this case I really don’t see any aesthetic quality to this trend and have not got on board. Furthermore some have argued that this same aesthetic standard applies to the Prairie dress trend. Here I do disagree
First as many of you know I have a penchant for vintage and clothing history and how these apply to today. Therefore the prairie dress seems to tick a lot of these boxes.
First thing to remember is as a fashion blogger and fashion historian I also an influenced by my own impeccable taste . Therefore this style may not be for everyone , but there are some great looks available. The high-neck Victorian looking floral dresses are what is making up this Prairie dress trend. In my opinion this trend is related to the anti-sexualization movement and the modest dressing trend. However for some this trend would mean embracing the courage to change.
COURAGE TO CHANGE; ON THE RUNWAY
Those long-sleeve, mid- to maxi-length dresses, usually in some sort of antique-looking floral, are pervasive for fall 2018 .This aesthetic—and its hero item—has been the bread and butter of smaller fashion brands like the New York–based Batsheva (worn by celebrities including Lena Dunham, Gillian Jacobs, and Amandla Stenberg) and London label The Vampire’s Wife (beloved by the likes of Alexa Chung, Florence Welch, and Olivia Wilde) for a few years now. They’ve helped make these modest, frilly frocks in vintage prints and fabrics go mainstream—before bigger names like Dior, Coach, and Calvin Klein started incorporating the silhouette (or pieces derived from it) into their collections.
Therefore despite their constrictive origins, prairie dresses translate well in modern day. Especially with current twists like patchwork prints, smocked accents and plaid patterns. Channel your inner Laura Ingalls with one of these surprisingly stylish prairie dresses. I’ve chosen my favorites of this trend .Moreover for those of you already on board and those who have the courage to change here is my prairie dress collection.
Seen first on the AW18 runway, this brown floral prairie dress is an ode to designer Batsheva Hay’s penchant for retro prints and feminine silhouettes.
Batsheva
The Vampire’s Wife’s cotton dress is patterned in a wallpaper floral print
The Vampire’s Wife
Here this jewel of a prairie dress is a great addition to your fall wardrobe . Moreover this dress is a great deal !
Rahi Prairie Rose Bella Dress
Certainly this Ganni light-blue cotton Faulkner dress is a personal favorite. Here printed with neat rows of white flowers and black stems the dress has exquisite detail. Furthermore this is a statement to creative director Ditte Reffstrup’s penchant for classic femininity. In my opinion Ganni is a brand to watch !!
Ganni
Here is the perfect mashup of prairie charm and Gothic romance, this silk dress is a must have.
Coach
Here this frilly ruffled edges sweeten the look of a prairie-chic plaid midi dress.
The Fifth Label
Here is a great prairie dress that sets the mark high for fall and winter. Certainly the styling here with these white boots is a great look.
Prairie Flower Maxi Dress
Prairie.style maxi dress in soft checked flannel. Of course this lovely dress has a true vintage feel ,going back to the Victorian period.
VIDEN Phillipa Dress
This checked dress brought aspiration onto the runway. Made in Italy from silk, it features prairie-style ruffles, sweet stripes on a mesh neckline, and a full length hem that’s highlighted by whimsical ruffles. This piece is the show stopper of the dresses I’ve chosen. In my opinion Raf Simmons pulled out stops with this gorgeous creation.
Calvin Klein
Certainly this Temperly London dress is to die for . First it is made from the most beautiful Guipure lace and ruffled with chiffon . Therefore for this number is being offered on sale at a fabulous price.
Temperley London
COLETTE HAD THE COURAGE TO CHANGE , THE WAY SHE DRESSED
How do you describe the most famous female writer of the 20th century . Through her clothes of course, and costume designer Andrea Flesch certainly excelled at doing it. In Wash Westmorelands latest film “Colette”. Since the director cast the talented Keirra Knightly her great performance is enhanced considerably by the wardrobe. Which gave the costume designer creative licence to express the forward thinking , androgynous icon through her wardrobe.
The courage to change takes Colette from Victorian splendor to the world of androgyny. Certainly I have looked at this topic before and love the subject of the bold woman who dresses in a masculine style. Here is the timeless story told thru the costumes of “Colette”.
Therefore I have had a lot of fun reinterpreting the films period garments into today’s sensibilities.
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE GIRL TO BOY
Milly
Alice + Olivia
Dolce & Gabbana
DSQUARED2
COLETTE THE COURAGE TO CHANGE
DSQUARED2
Cloud Nine
Topshop
